First Appointment

I had my first appointment on Wednesday and aside from the almost hour wait in the waiting room it went well!

The wait made me really nervous because I already wasn't sure of what to expect. When they finally called us back I peed in a cup, got my weight and blood pressure and was immediately taken into the ultrasound room!

While waiting for the doctor Matt suggested we take a picture of me holding the internal ultrasound camera and send the pic to our families as our announcement. Men.

The appointment was pretty quick. Dr. B did an ultrasound and measured me at about 5w5d although I decided I was going to keep my 5w3d time frame. We saw the sac and Dr. B said she thought she saw the fetal pole which made me really excited! Because she's just estimating 5w3d right now I'll go back on April 1 for another ultrasound! Ahh! So exciting. Definitely trying to find things to do to pass the time for the next 2 weeks!

After work on Wednesday I went to dinner with two of my best girlfriends. They are the sweetest girls in the entire world and bought me gifts! My friend Kelli got me baby pajamas in different sizes and colors and they are oh-so-soft!!! Love them! Chelsea got me diapers and wipes and also gave me a few maternity items. I have the best friends a girl could ask for!

I'll leave you with an ultrasound picture - time to get the cheesecake out of the oven!!

5 Weeks

Today I am 5 weeks pregnant. I still don't think it's fully hit me. I. Am. Pregnant! I've only said those words out loud a few times, and I love hearing it every single time. I'm not sure if it'll ever get old.

I don't feel any different yet aside from the many pee breaks I've been taking. I always thought it was weird when newly pregnant women claimed to have to pee a lot because I thought that didn't start happening until the baby was bigger and was pushing down on your bladder. Boy was I wrong.

I have had a few bouts of nausea which I can't complain about (yet) because they've been so light and easy to manage. I'm a little more tired than I normally am, but other than that I feel great/normal!

I have yet to step away from the pee sticks and temping and to be honest with you, I have NO idea why I'm still temping. I guess I'll stop after my first appointment. I still have a TON of pee sticks though so I feel like I have to use them up :) Maybe I'll stop those after my first appointment also.

Speaking of appointments, I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 8am for a blood draw and lots of information from the nurse and on Wednesday I have my first appointment with my doctor! I'm really excited for both but can hardly contain my excitement for my Wednesday appointment. I have NO idea what happens at that appointment, I can only hope for an ultrasound - even though it will be too early to see a baby - I'd still love to see the sac and make sure everything is in the right place! I'm assuming my appointments got scheduled so early because they are using my LMP which would put me at just over 6 weeks, I know this isn't correct and my doctor will realize that soon too, but hey, I'll take it!!

Remember When I Said...

On to cycle 7? Well. I was wrong.

I am in complete and total shock right now. I definitely thought I was out when I started spotting on Tuesday. I started to get slightly hopeful on Monday after I got my blood drawn. I went back to work and though out the day I had what I can only describe as a fluttering/muscle spasm sensation in the area where my uterus is. I didn't think I was pregnant because of this muscle spasm like feeling, I just thought it was strange that I'd never felt that before. My boobs were still hurting and I thought they'd be back to normal at that point too so that was giving me a little hope. And then on Tuesday I started spotting and was preparing for cycle 7.

Still thinking that I'm out and preparing for the spotting to continue I went to work on Wednesday but noticed that I didn't really spot at all. I still thought that we were done. Thursday I had just a little spotting and on Friday it was pretty much back to nothing. I thought that was weird but again, I still thought that we were on to the next cycle.

This morning I got up to temp and my temp went up just ever so slightly. Normally it's on a downward spiral so I laid in bed for 30 minutes debating whether or not I would take a test. Finally I just decided to do it because I've seen negative tests before and I already thought it wasn't my cycle so I thought I wouldn't be too disappointed by a negative test. I PIAC and dipped a Wondfo. After about a minute I wasn't seeing anything so I dumped the rest of the pee. I came back to the Wondfo and there was just the faintest of faint lines. I took a picture of it and was going to send it to my BFF Kelli just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I thought better of it though because it was 6am and her daughter had a tummy bug yesterday and I knew she'd either be sleeping or just plain exhausted. By the time the 5 minute mark rolled around there was no question as to whether or not a line was there. I was mad that I dumped the rest of my pee because I couldn't confirm on a FRER.

Now I'm sitting on the bathroom floor in shock. There's a line. I am pregnant. How do I tell Matt? Do I do what I've been planning, wrap the onesie and books I'd purchased months ago and send him on his scavenger hunt? Would he know something was up? He'd fallen asleep on the couch watching TV last night so I grabbed the Wondfo, went down stairs, sat on the edge of the couch, tapped him until he woke up, and said, "What are you doing?" He groggily woke up and said, "Huh? I'm sleeping. What does it look like I'm doing?"

I explained to him that I temped earlier that morning and that my temperature went up when I was fully expecting it to go down. He still not fully awake just agreed with me that it was strange. I told him that I took a test and that it had two lines. He opened his eyes and said, "Two lines on the pregnancy test? Are you sure?" He turned on the light and I handed him the test. Two lines!!

I still am having a hard time believing it. The only "symptoms" I currently have are sore boobs and have been peeing like crazy, but that's normal for me so I try not to count that.

According to FF my EDD is 11/10/13.

AHHHH! Is this real?!

Ugh. It's Back

The dreaded spotting, that is. It showed up yesterday morning. And it was literally just a spot. All day long. I considered not even marking it on my chart but I did because I figure it will be important someday. Then there was nothing today. Zip, zero, zilch. What's up with that?

My normal pattern is very light spotting in the mornings and almost nothing in the afternoons - I have NO idea why this is, but i think it's weird - actually I think the whole spotting situation is weird, but it's even more weird that it's only in the morning for the first few days. Ok, so anyway, light spotting in the mornings for the first 2-3 days then normally it's pretty consistent spotting all day for the next 2-3 days. It's still pretty light, but it's there.

You can imagine how my day was yesterday. I wasn't sad. I was just pissed. I can't even tell you why I was pissed because there is NO way in my mind that I didn't think this was coming. It's been happening for the last 7 months so why would it just magically go away now!? On to cycle 7.

Also, I got my progesterone results back and they were at 8.08 at 8dpo. My doctor emailed me and said this is a "very normal" level and is consistent with ovulation. I just need to point out that I already know I ovulated. I wasn't concerned about that. That's not why I was getting my progesterone levels tested in the first place. I want need to know why I'm spotting and if it's a problem in trying to have a baby. Not to mention, I googled what normal progesterone levels should be and 8 was borderline to low. That doesn't seem "very normal" to me. Dr. B wants me to make a follow up appointment with her to discuss. Blah.

Ok, last complaint and then I'm done. Work sucked today. I mentioned (I think) that we are going through a lot of changes at work and my department just keeps getting crushed with things no one else wants to do. It's not in our job description, we never did any of this before, there are other departments that actually do this work, yet my manager has a problem telling people no, so we get stuck with it when people ask.

Here's to hoping that CD1 comes and goes quickly and that the rest of this week flies by. I'm ready for the weekend!

Feeling Discouraged

Today I'm feeling discouraged because I haven't been able to get excited about this cycle. I was excited up until O day and ever since then I've just been feeling like I'm out before the race has even started.

It's hard to tell if it's better to be discouraged from the get go, or if it's better to get your hopes up and be let down at 10dpo, or CD1. They both suck, but I guess in the end it's less painful to think it was never going to happen from the start. I just hate living my life this way. I want to be hopeful that maybe just maybe I could get pregnant this month.

Why can't I take the fact that I have painfully sore boobs this cycle (more so than any other cycle) and run with it! That could be an early pregnancy symptom. It should be giving me hope, right? Well it's not. I'm trying to ignore "symptoms" now more than I ever have before. I absolutely loathe the Pregnancy Monitor on FF. It's just part of the game. I don't want to play the game anymore.

Love of My Life

I don't have much to share today.

Just this.

Perfection.

Happy Wednesday :)

Finally! O and Dr B No Longer Being a B

I just need one more high temp to confirm but I think it's safe to say I ovulated on CD22. A little late for me but I had my usual 2 days of positive OPK's followed by a temp spike on Monday morning. Good news! I know a lot of people ovulate later in their cycles but I was starting to get a little worried considering the latest I've ovulated is CD19 in the past.

My doctor emailed me last week and said that my progesterone levels I had drawn on 2/13 were not compatible with ovulation. Duh. I explained to her that I tried to call the office and reschedule but the nurses just weren't havin' it. I asked if she wanted me to come in when my chart says I'm 7dpo and she agreed that this would be a good idea. At least I feel like people are starting to listen to me. I know she sees many many patients a day but I know my body (or at least I know it better than she does) and I'm glad that she's finally listening to what I have to say about my charts. 7dpo will be Sunday so I'll head in on Monday and hopefully have my results the next day so I can schedule a follow up with her if needed.

I don't have many thoughts or feelings about this cycle yet. I am just not sure what to make of it. I want to be hopeful but then I wonder if there's even any point in thinking that I might actually be pregnant this cycle. I'm thinking the one good thing about this cycle is that at the end of it (pregnant or not) it will be March. That means we're finally getting closer to spring and warm weather!